A True story about Drunk Driving
82Donald Nolan Nov 25,1927 Died Mar 14,2006
Dedication
Now that I have your attention please take the time to read.
This is a true story and I hope that I can shed some light on drinking and driving as it can happen to anyone. If one person just takes the time to read it and embrace it , it could bring about life changing events. Keep in mind I am not saying that you cannot drink, I am asking that you do not drive as this event that happened to our family has changed it forever. We cannot turn back the hands of time we can only move forward and tell others about it. If you to have a story share it on the comments so that others know what you have experienced. If you have not experienced this embrace it and I do pray that this will never happen to you.
copyright 2007
In Memoriam
On February 16,2005 2 days after Valentine's day my parents both senior citizens were on there way to work. My mother who was the driver and my father who was the passenger left at the same time every night. On this particular night an impaired driver , speeding down the freeway at 95mph slammed into the back of there 2002 Grand Cherokee , careening them into a wall and there vehicle spun out of control and again hit the wall but not before hitting a another vehicle and road signs as they were doing repair on the freeway. Due to the severe impact the vehicle ,was totaled and my father who's seat split in half and had been thrown from the passenger seat to the middle of the vehicle was left with broken vertebrae in his back and double aneurisms both around his heart and in his stomach. Here was an active man who's life was cut short due to another person getting behind the wheel and driving. Needless to say my father past away 1 year and 1 month later due to the aneurisms bursting around his heart and my mother found him in there kitchen his head laying on a crossword puzzle book ,gone. This tragedy could have been prevented if that man from New Mexico did not get behind the wheel and drive. I met him on the road that night as I pulled up behind the accident , I remember is face and the smell of alcohol profusely on his breathe. He could not walk,he could not function. Am I angry? I am saddened by the circumstance what if that was his family member? Am I forgiving? The only thing I can hope is that he quit drinking and driving as I don't want him to harm any others on the road nor himself. Did he get time?The answer to that question is no he did not! As he resides in New Mexico so laws vary from state to state. He has taken from us many happy memories due to acting irresponsibly behind the wheel of a vehicle.
My goal is to get the word out to as many as I possibly can so that they or someone they love may not become a statistic.
Recommendation
1. Know your limit. If you don't know experiment at home while someone observes you.
2. Eating during drinking alcohol absorbs much more slowly.
3. Accept a drink only if you want one , not because someone else is telling you to have one, don't be pressured by a friend remember you are in control.
4. Do not mix alcohol and prescriptions those two are a deadly combination.
5. Don't let yourself or others drive intoxicated. Call a cab, take the keys, have them ride with someone who is sober but never ever let them drive.
Final Word
Do not be a statistic or have someone become a statisitc please make responsible decisions before getting behind the wheel.
For more information on how to get involved contact your local city or state MADD (Mother's against drunk drivers), if you believe you may have a problem with drinking contact AA or any church group who may assist you.
copyright © 2008
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It is however we can only learn from it, I wish that I could contact the gentleman and let him know what happened as I am in Arizona and he is in New Mexico maybe then he wouldn't drink and drive. I have forgiven him but would just like others to know that when you lose a loved one and there life is cut short it is painful to everyone. The officers at the scene were surpirse that the vehicle did not explode as they stated it was common for it to possibly happen due to the impact of the other vehicle. I am just blessed to still have our mother.
I am sorry for your loss. I guess Dads die for lots of reasons and it is never easy. Your Dad did get to live a pretty long life. Perhaps the blessing is he didn't have to get into all those difficult aging problems like alzheimers and general debilitation. I am in a place where I am watching my mother and my father in law struggle with memory and with oxygen tanks. They are really struggling with mortality. I think in a way it was easier to lose my father while he was vibrant at 60. Thanks for the Hub. Again, there are technical issues, like spelling and punctuation, but the message is clear.
Thank you for the critiquing again as I need to slow down and look before posting I appreciate your advise , guidance and input. You are absolutely wonderful !!! As for my father I still miss him and always will, I hope that maybe I can get the message across and save maybe one person from harming themselves or another person.
Some people choose to live their lives in a careless and reckless manner, and unfortunately it all too often affects us all. We can live our lives to the fullest, helping others in all the ways we can, and know that when our time has come, we have done all we can.
We often feel cheated if we are taken from this life due to others irresponsible and inconsiderate actions, when in fact is those who are left behind that are actually cheated. And we can only hope and pray that those responsible have recognized their faults and are actively pursuing a better way of life.
Jeremy, I couldn't agree more and what some may know and somemay not is that it hurts everyday , however we have to keep on going wiht our lives. I am sincerely happy that others are taking the time to read it and I hope that it is an eye opener.:)
thanks for sharing your experience and your thoughts. I am also keen to write about drinking and in particular drink-driving. The world has to change for the better.
Benson. I hope it does and all we can do is get the word out. I believe my father would be proud knowing that I am diligently working on having others acknowledge the truth.:)
Very well done. I hope I can get that good some day. I write a clean and sober blog and this is good work. thank you for sharing this.
God's Child, I thank you and the inspiration on this article came from the loss of my father. I miss him with all of my heart as I would talk to him faithfully everyday, and stop by and have coffe often. I spoke with him the day, before he past away and will not ever forget our conversation. He is in my heart and forever will be, and if I could turn the clock back, I think I would have said more. What comes from his passing, is sharing so that others will understand that it is not that they should never be able to drink as I cannot condemn that, it is just that they have to learn how to control it , and not let it control them and I ask that they do not get behind the wheel and drive. You are already on your way to writing brilliant articles, keep them coming. :)
very nice story nicely written
I feel for you AEvans, I truly do. Losing someone to this sort of thing must be heartbreaking, I do not know if I have the capacity to fogive someone who committed something like this to me.
TravelMonkey: That is the heart I have , I miss him with all of my heart but I cannot turn back the clock unfortunately , the only thing I can do is share my story and hopefully I will be able to save someone out there from the same pain we have been through.:(
Such a sad story, AE. I'm sorry to hear about this. As I've said in the past, I'm not against drinking, but alcohol kills over 100,000 people a year. Marijuana has NEVER killed a person, EVER! But they won't legalize it...weird. I don't advocate that people run around out of their minds all the time either, I just don't understand the logic of alcohol being okay, outside of a persons home. In my opinion, bars should be illegal. But then people couldn't have a few drinks at their friends house either, without having to drive home. It's a difficult situation, that's for sure. Again, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Thanks for sharing:)
MissJamie: I understand your thoughts tremendously , I am not for marijuana either but has been proven to be less harmful then alcohol. I miss him very, very much and I won't forget the last phone call the day before he died, I think about it sometimes and it hurts my heart. We can only continue to move on as he was a wonderful human being, and is dearly missed. :(
I am sorry for your loss. Not that this would bring your loving father back but have you considered filing a wrongful death lawsuit against the driver with the claim that the death of your dad was a result of the injury that was caused by the accident....It doesn't bring him back but you might get some feeling of justice from it.
Again...I am sorry for your loss.
I have never thought about that, could we even after all of these years? He should have been prosecuted, wouldn't they have to exhume his body?
no...if the medical records from the Doctors conclude his health problems were caused from the injuries and the cause of death coincide with that...I don't think that there would be need to exhume the body. The guy that caused the accident is still alive right? Also, you need to check your states statute of limitations since this is a civil suit. I would consult with a lawyer who specializes in wrongful death suits.
JJ, Thanks so much I will have mom look into this today..:) You are so smart, you should become an Attorney.:)
I would love to be one too. I have had alot of people tell me that all my life. I think maybe one day I will go back to school...that's why I went to school to be a Legal Secretary because I love legal stuff. I would love to be a lawyer and go in the court and plead my cases....exciting!!
You can do it!!! I know you definitely will..:)
it is very sa hear about this. i am truly sorry. that guy shoul have never gotten of that easily. what have he learned? nothing other than it is possile to get away with MURDER.i know that there is some kind of way you can get this guy no matter where it has happen. i am touched by this story so i decided to write about this story for my criminal justice class. i will ask my teacher about this case and see what he say, and i will be sure to let you know.
Classy1,
Thank you and you are welcome to share my store in class and link it if you wish. I miss the man I called Dad and the man walked away free , I do not understand I criminal justice system, I just hope that he doesn't do it to someone else.
I'm soooo sorry you lost your dear father this way, but I'm with jj - a wrongful death suit is the only way to get across to that guy the long-term consquences of his actions. As yet, no one has come up with a device to keep drunks from driving, and probably never will. Nor has the legal system. Something about having a vehicle in the equation makes killing or permanently injuring occupants of another while driving drunk makes it less of a "crime" than, say, shooting those same people or beating them. The mindset being there's no premeditation. To my thinking, getting behind the wheel intoxicated is "premeditation".
btw, talking on a cell phone while driving is just as bad as driving drunk. Even "hands free", one's concentration is on the conversation, not on the road or what other drivers are doing.
Jama, Thanks you so much for your thoughts and we are working on the wrongful death suit, but we are trying to find out the statue of limitations. I also believe when someone gets behind the wheel it is premeditated. I miss him and even when I talk about it , it still brings tears to my eyes.
People should as well pay attention when they use cell phones as that is also a serious cause of accidents and fatalites. Thanks for commenting. :)
Thank you for sharing this story, this hub is touching and I'm glad that you wrote about this. Have a great day Julianne! ~ Scott
scott: Thank you for reading it , when someone comments on it and appreciates it, I also heal and know I am getting the word across. :)
My heart goes out to you!! I just completed a hub about my father as well...he too was killed by a drunk driver, so I know all too well the pain and emptiness you feel. Thank you for sharing your story.
Montana: It is a sad thing and I was so angry at the beginning I could have harmed someone, but all aside I can only hope that some will heed the warning as it certainly doesn't feel good to lose a family member to somebody thinking they could drive. My heart goes out to you, as I also understand your heartbreak and pain. :(
AEvans -another excellent hub nice takes thnaks
this is a lesson for us to avoid drinking while driving.great hub story.thanks for share
There are no words to express my compassion and sorrow over the loss of your dear father. This kind of tragedy happens all too often.
The sad fact about drinking is that it impairs judgment. Even otherwise responsible people take risks thinking they are not as impaired as all that and can make it home. But I hear so often of people, now sober, who talk about driving in blackouts. Universally, they say this: I can't believe I used to do that, but I did. I could have killed myself or others. They are horrified, but at the time nothing could have kept them from driving that way.
I am glad you refer to MADD in your hub. They do a great job. I personally feel that all vehicles should have an ignition switch that disables the car if the driver is over the legal BAL limit. That removes the problem of human error once and for all. Is it punitive to responsible drivers? No. I don't think so. I do believe the slight inconvenience will be worth it to save lives.
AE, sorry to read your story; but I think it's always good to try to tell these stories. There's always a chance at least one potential drunken, criminal, driver may think twice because of it. Still, trouble is these idiots don't think anything bad will happen, and then they're shocked when it does. Sorry, too, to know you lost your father so recently.
I set up a blog just for the purpose of trying to send a similar message, because I was in a car hit head-on by a drunk, speeding, driver going 70 on the wrong side of the road. My 20-year-old friend was killed. The 27-year-old woman who hit us was fined $20 and lost her license for one (one!!!) year. If there's someone "up there" who may forgive this criminal one day it isn't my business. Even after decades I don't, and never will, forgive her. Nobody has a right to get in a car after drinking and risk killing innocent people. Saying they're sorry and didn't mean it doesn't cut once somebody is dead. Of course, if a lot of them are like the girl who hit us, they just say, "It was accident" and won't even feel remorse.
Lgali: I am glad that you read it and appreciated it.
prasetio30: I sincerely hope that others do learn from it, I realize I cannot save everyone but if there are a few out there I can then I will.
MM: Your strength about sharing what you did and what could have happened is powerful, I believe we have all did something and none of us are perfect. It still seems like yesterday that we lost him and coming back to this hub reminds me of who he was. I know if he is looking from up above that he is happy that I shared his story. I miss him dearly however I have gotten stronger since his death. Holidays are the hardest part but we still have mom for which we are blessed and greatful for. :)
LisaHW: First and foremost I am thankful that you are here, to talk about it and it saddens me to think you lost a friend over a drunk driver. It is very painful, and here is a lesson you should forgive the woman that killed your friend as she is battling her own demons and has to live the rest of her life with knowing that she killed someone, all over a drink. The law was wrong for only giving her a fine of $20.00 as life is priceless and that as well right now makes me angry as it was the law who failed and continues to fail many of us, it is the Alcohol and Tobacco who allows it to still flow. Heal yourself Lisa and forgive her we cannot bring them back but we can certainly fight for there rights. :)
AE, I've been healed for a good long time now. With the loss of your father being so recent, I know it will take time for you. Also, I don't compare the loss of a girlfriend, in any way, to losing your father through the same cause. It's just very, very, different, I lost my own father through natural causes, and I know how much "worse" it was to get past. You have the added "complication" of losing your father when it didn't have to happen.
I know that many people who have been victimized, or who have had someone close victimized, by a drunk/speeding driver find peace in forgiveness. I don't question their thinking if it works for them. I know, too, someone can't be always thinking about the grudge he holds (every hour of every day) for the rest of his life. That's not healthy. It's been so long for me now that I go from one week or month to another without ever thinking about the person who hit us, so I'm not harboring some "high-blood-pressure situation" over it.
My thing is I now have grown kids who are older than my girlfriend was. I now know the absolute horror my friend's mother/family must have gone through. Now that I'm where I am in life I almost see it as a far worse "crime" than I did back then. This girl who hit us didn't have a "drinking problem". She was out at a lounge, having a good time. I understand addictions, and I don't care who drinks - but the minute anyone ever gets into that driver's seat they're taking the risk of robbing someone else of his/her life, as well as robbing his/her family of a life with that person. There's just no excuse for being that stupid and cavalier about other people's lives. I just think forgiving should be reserved for people who didn't essentially make a decision to risk other people's lives. If someone makes a mistake even though he tried to do his best not to, that's forgivable. Driving drunk just isn't, I don't think. To me, there are some things that the whole society has to decide just not let people off the hook on, and this is one of them. I don't mean to "ugly up" your Hub or comments about forgiveness, and I don't "live ugly" because an ancient-history accident. As I said, I know that my "cold, dead, lack-of-forgiveness" comes from knowing how a mother feels about her 20-year old son or daughter or how kids feel about their own parents.
LisaHW: I honestly understand and you did not ugly-up my comments you were able to let it all out and that is what matters. You are not cold you simply understand the pain.
AE I'm so sorry to hear about your terrible loss. I'm amazed at your ability to try and garner some good from it as what's done is done and cannot be reversed. I can only imagine your pain, but your using it to teach others is a priceless gift that you are sharing and I appreciate you doing so.
Thanks for writing this and again I'm so sorry for the pain that this careless person caused your family.
RooBee: If it is one thing I have learned that is to forgive anyone that has caused you pain. Alcoholism is a disease and many suffer from the affliction. All of us have our own addictions however if I can allow others to read it, understand and learn something from it, it certainly brings closer for me. Thank you for your thoughts. :)
Thanks for sharing your story. People can never hear it enough. I am sorry for your loss. I know the pain of losing someone to a drunk driver. It has happened twice to me. The first time me and my best friend were walking on the sidewalk in front of a school no less, when the drunk driver in words thought he was on the road plowed into us.
Killing my friend. I survived with injuries. The driver walked scott free. It was all pleaded out. It is sad they don't take driving drunk serious. They have campaigns and groups, but the laws just aren't enough. Especially if you kill someone.
crazybeanrider: Thank you and it is also sad that you had to also experience such a loss that is horrible! The driver should have been imprisoned but God knows there fate and they have to live with that for the rest of there lives, if they have a conscious I am certain they will do something about it. The laws should be tightened up because taking someone's life destroys a family forever. :(
I'm sorry for your loss. I know that your Dad would be so proud of you for what you are doing.
ftgmom: Thank you and I know he is looking down and is honored it still hurts deep within in my soul but hopefully I am saving someone's life. :)
That is so sadd, i would be so mad as well that person hadd no sence hopefully people wake up noww and see that its wrong DRINKING AND DRIVING IS WORNG!!!
Chanel: You are right it certainly is wrong until it happens to them they will not understand. But if one person decides after reading this that they will choose not to get behind the wheel then I have accomplished what I was set out to do and that is save a life or lives. :)
I AM A MOTHER OF 2 SONS THAT DIED DUE TO ALCOHOL RELATED WRECKS. ONE WAS 22 AND ONE JUST TURNED 16 YEARS OLD. THESE BOYS WERE GREAT BOYS.THE TWO BEST SONS IN THE WHOLE WORLD.THE WRECKS WERE 1 YEAR AND EIGHT MONTHS APART.MY FIRST BORN CHILD DIED FIRST OCT 2ND 2004 HE WRECKED OCT.6TH HE PASSED, WE BURIED HIM ONE MONTH AFTER HIS 22ND BIRTHDAY ON OCT 9TH 2004... I HEARD MY CHILD HAD BEEN DRINKING SOME, HE CAME AROUND A CURVE TRAVELING TO FAST AND LOST CONTROL OF HIS Z-71 PICKUP TRUCK.THE TRUCK FLIPPED THREE TIMES BEFORE LANDING AGAINST A HUGE TREE. MY SON WAS EJECTED FROM THE VEHICLE.HE SUFFERED A BRAIN INJURY, HE LOST HIS RIGHT EYE. MY SON SUFFERED THREE STROKES BEFORE PASSING ON OCT 6TH 2004. THIS WAS SO DEVASTEING FOR OUR FAMILY.JEREMY OVERSTREET WAS MY SONS NAME.WE WERE FROM GROVE HILL, ALABAMA. MY SECOND SON WAS RIDEING AROUND WITH A FREIND, HE WAS ALSO THE BEST FREIND TO MY FIRST SON JEREMY. ALAN HAD JUST TURNED 16 IN MARCH. JAKE WAS THE DRIVER AND HE WAS UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF ALCOHOL, ALSO HEARD OTHER SUBSTANCES. MY SON WAS SOBER, JAKE THE DRIVER WAS ALSO GOING TO FAST, CAME AROUND A SHARP CURVE LOSEING CONTROL ON LOOSE GRAVEL AT A HIGH RATE OF SPEED.THE VEHICLE FLIPPED SEVERAL TIMES, MY SON WAS EJECTED FROM THE VEHICLE AND IT LANDED PARTIALLY ON HIS BODY CAUSING BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA, HE DIED SHORTLY AFTER GETTING TO HOSPITAL. PLEASE READ AND SEE THE POINTS IM TRYING TO MAKE ABOUT DRINKING AND DRIVING. IT KILLS. ITS NOT WORTH IT. SAVE A LIFE-DONT TAKE A LIFE....EVERYONE HAS A CHOICE, PLEASE THINK BEFORE YOU DRINK.PLEASE DONT DRINK AND DRIVE....PLEASE POST THIS ON EVERY SITE AVAILABLE FOR MY BOYS TO BE REMEMBERED, IN HONOR OF THEM, PLEASE PASS THE COMMENT AROUND TO HELP OTHERS. IF I COULD SAVE JUST ONE LIFE,I WOULD KNOW MY SONS DEATH HAS HELPED SOMEONE REALIZE THE EFFECTS OF DRINKING AND DRIVING... THANK YOU SO MUCH. GOD BLESS THIS MESSAGE TO REACH THE ONES NEEDED TO READ. THANK YOU, PAULA OVERSTREET
IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY TWO PRECIOUS SONS JEREMY OVERSTREET-NICKNAME GOMU- AND NATHAN ALAN OVERSTREET NICKNAME ALLEY-CAT AND LITTLE GOMU.. PLEASE HEED ALL WARNINGS OF DRINKING AND DRIVING. ITS THE HOLIDAYS AND SO MANY PARTYS ARE GOING ON AND THE NEW YEARS EVE PARTYS ARE ON THERE WAY SOON. PLEASE DONT DRINK AND DRIVE. SAVE A LIFE DONT TAKE A LIFE. LIFE IS TO PRECIOUS TO RISK. EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES,BUT SOMETIMES THE MISTAKES YOU MAKE COULD COST YOU YOUR LIFE OR YOUR FRIENDS LIFE OR EVEN A FAMILY MEMBERS LIFE. MIXING ALCOHOL AND DRIVING IS A CHOICE YOU MAKE,SO DONT DO IT. YOU HAVE A CHOICE,SO DONT MAKE THE WRONGE ONE, IT COULD COST YOU TIME IN JAIL, YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO GET OVER THE DEATH OF SOMEONE THAT YOU KNOW YOU KILLED BECAUSE YOU CHOOSE TO DRINK AND DRIVE.PLEASE DONT DRINK AND DRIVE. REMEMBER MY TWO SONS, THINK OF HOW YOUNG THEY WERE, THINK OF ALL THE FAMILY THAT MISSES THEM, THINK OF ALL THE FREINDS THAT CANT SEEM TO GO ON WITHOUT THEM. PLEASE REMEMBER TO HELP EACH OTHER, FREINDS DONT LET FRIENDS DRIVE DRUNK. EVEN ONE OR TWO BEERS CAN GET YOU PUT IN JAIL FOR KILLING SOMEONE BY DRINKING AND DRIVING. PLEASE PLEASE HEED MY WARNINGS. IM ONLY TRYING TO HELP OTHERS LIVE.IM TRYING TO SAVE AS MANY LIVES AS I CAN. I DONT WANT ANY MOTHER TO GO THREW WHAT IVE BEEN THREW. THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING. DRINKING AND DRIVING KILLS,PLEASE DONT DRINK AND DRIVE......GOD BLESS YOU ALL. HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON. THANK YOU,PAULA OVERSTREET -MISSING MY TWO SONS JEREMY AND ALAN OVERSTREET OF GROVE HILL, ALABAMA
Paula Overstreet: I am so saddended to hear about your loss of not one son, but two it has got tobe so hard for you but telling your side of the story believe me this article will not be in vain. So far 4323 people have read this and your sons as well as my father's name will live on forever and someone out there will read this from both sides and realize that getting behind the wheel and driving is just not worth it. My heart goes out to you and your family for the loss and pain you have suffered. Thank you so much for posting your comment and taking the time to read mine. You are saving lives this very moment just by doing what you did. God Bless Julianna
This is really a wake up call to read your hub. Of course we all know that drinking and driving is wrong, but there are some who chance it anyway. I hope they read this message and also Paula Overstreet. I can't imagine the pain and anger you must feel. I am truly sorry for your loss. It's more than anyone should have to endure.
Annie4: I have had thousands who have read this hub and I hope that I was able to save some lives through it all, Paula is in so much pain I could not imagine her grief but my thoughts and prayers are with her and her family. :)
I am so sorry that this happened. I hate the fact that things like this can happen because of drunk driving.
Nichole: It happens everyday but if I can change when person then it makes all of the difference. :)
A,
I am so sorry for your loss. I can remember as a child when my father would put us in the car and drive after getting totally blasted. We as children we terrified. My father got saved and has not taken a drink for over 15 years. I am only glad it did not end in a tragedy like your own. God bless and give you peace.
Warmest regards,
Chris
The recent drink driving case in SIngapore involved a Romanian dilplomat hit and run accident. He knock down three victims causing one death due to his drinking and ontop of that he try to escape his crime by making a false police report claming his embassy car was stolen. What kind of man is this to resort to such lowly and iresponsible ways. Just because of his action , he has cause the family of the victim to lost a husband and ruin the future of a family.
The very least he could do to make it up was to be responsible and stand up to admit his fault and not run away and try to cover his crime.
I am just so appalled at such behaviour , so what even if he is a diplomat , he has to be prosecuted just like everyone else and not have special treatment or priviledge as dont forget he has taken a man life away and causing serious injuries to two other victims.
Just hope the Romanian government will be just and bring him back to Singapore to face trial and to own up to his own traffic crime.
christinaalluna1124: I am glad that he was saved and that all of you were and are safe. Sometimes people make mistakes, it is when they decide to change it and make it better that is wonderful. Many blessings to you too!
patski: That is horrific and so sad that just goes to show that he was weak and knows what he hs done wrong. I must follow that story and see what happens, thank you for sharing it. :)
Hi AEvans ,
Yeah is tragic & sad we felt for the victims and just wants to see justice to be done and a lesson for those who drink please do not drive as this mistake is too serious and you cant turn back the clock when somebody has been killed.
You can follow the story on this link http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/Singapore
I am sorry for your loss.
I am a person who has been convicted of 2 DUI's.
I never intended for it to happen. The disease of alcholism nearly took my life.
Today, I am an alcoholic in recovery.
By the grace of GOD, I did not hurt or kill anyone.
I will say I was totally in a blackout my last time drunk driving and had no idea what had taken place.
Today, I have served jail time, been in treatment, am active in AA and cannot drive for 3 years. I wish they had came down harder on me the first time.
I hope you can salvage the fine memories your Dad left you.
patski: Thank you so much and I will follow the link. :)
Joe Andover: All as fallen short of the Glory and I have forgiven the man who took my father's life. I can still see my father's face in the Grand Cherokee when I drove up to the accident it is something that I will not ever forget. I can still remember the man's face who hit my parents, his height , what he looked like and the jacket he was wearing, even the truck he drove with New Mexico plates. He knows who he is and I hope that he no longer drinks. My father was a good man and I still remember the last breath he took and I felt it on my cheek as they wheeled him out on the guerney. My teardrops fell on his cheek he was gone. If I can tell people about it , somehow the healing seems a little easier but knowing I can save a life because of the loss is worth more to me then anything in the World. I have beautiful memories and for that I am so grateful for.
I am also happy that you are sober and can share your story with others.
You are a special and kind person. Rare is the ability to pray for others who are still sick.
The courage you had in sharing your story is inspiring. I pray that it has the impact that you intended and may God bless and guide you in your every waking moment.
Joe Andover: I pray that God continues to heal you and that you and that you will go among the teenagers and younger generation sharing your story and the story of others. God has a plan for you and I will pray for your journey. :)
I just found your site and I just wanted to let you know that I am very sorry. I know the pain that you have gone through. My brother died in 2006 from a drunk driver incident. The old cliche says that "time will heal all pain". That cliche is false. No amount of time can heal the pain of losing a loved one to such a senseless act. The drunk driver who killed my brother was sentenced in 2009. He received 8 years with the possiblity of parole in 2. In 2 years I will be at that parole hearing and I will have a voice. I don't know if it will make a difference but if it does, I feel quiet certain that my actions will be saving someone elses life. God Bless you and your family.
Laura: Your voice will be heard and I am sorry to here about your brother. The man who took our father's life is still walking the streets somewhere in New Mexico where he is from.I believe your actions will save someone's else life. We have to forgive those for the disease but the pain doesn't really go away, thank you for reading and commenting.
First I want to say I'm sorry for your loss. I think over and over how can people drink and drive. I'm only 24 and I have never drove drunk EVER. If I drink I drink at my house. That is just for inresposible people, who don't care about their life or other peoples live. I hope that a lot of people can read your Blog and realise the pain and suffering they can cause. I see all these drunk drivin accidents and I live in Las Vegas in the last week there has been at least 4 DUI death's. This is crazy. SOmetimes when I'm driving my biggest fear is to get hit by a drunk driver. This is a scary thing to live with and is like a thing that happens on a daily basis. There should be a LAW were they can get punish and not walk away like the person that cause your fathers death. I hope the young and the old learn before is to late. God bless you.
I am a 9 year old girl and I understand your loss and pain. I myself has no father.
your father is in heavan, no need to worry, he watches over you. He still loves you with all his heart.
first i want to say im sorry for your lost and i hope you've learned your lesson from drinking and driving. im not very old or very young but, i can say i have already experienced it soo, if you need some help ask someone but, not me. i don't have much to say but, hopefully you can get some help from someone in your family or a friend.
and again im so sorry for your lost, and always remeber that he's in a good place and he's watching over you and cares for you even if you made a little mistake or screwed up. its just to say everyone makes mistakes.
teresa: Thank you and I to hope that others can learn from this blog, my heart has healed but there will always be an empty space in my heart. I wish there was a stricter law but until it happpens to the people who write them in then something will be done. Thank you for your kindness and your comment.:)
tiana: Bless your little heart and thank you for your wonderful and heartfelt commment. I would not normally accept a comment from someone so young, but I believe your words should be heard too. :)
yalia habibi hiba: It was not me who killed my father it was a drunk driver who had gotten behind the wheel, Thank you for the forgivness but I do not drink and drive. I do not drink at all but thank you for sharing your thoughts and I hope that others who have a problem will take lessons from your words. :)
thank god i didnt kill any body but i got my life upside dowen of dwi .never agaim
joseph tito: I Thank God for you to all of make mistakes and if we didn't we wouldn't be human. I am glad that you realized what it can cause and you are alive and did not harm a soul. If a person drinks that is o.k. but please just don't drive, call a cab, a friend, a family member that is the best thing to do. I wish you all of the best! :)
very sad
briana: Yes it was very, very sad and it still hurts till this day.
OMG THATS SAD AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have 3 children, all teens, and I worry about them driving for this very reason! God bless you in your endevour to keep drunks off the road.
I am really sorry for your loss, That is a truly tragic story. I myself have been through this kind of... I have lost three parents to drinking and driving but the difference is that they did it to themselves. My wife and I lost her dad in 1999 then 6 months later my stepmom was killed, both were drinking and made horrible decisions to drive. Then last year my stepdad and mom were in an accident while drinking that left my step dad dead and my mom in intensive care for 3 weeks. She is still suffering to this day but will continue to get better. I myself will never have a drink again. After you go through this so many times you wish that people would not be so selfish. I somtimes wonder if ther is anybody else in the world who has lost three parents to this.
bob: It still breaks my heart but life always has to go one even though we only have beautiful memories and videos of yesterday. :(
MrsR2U: Although I don't know you I will definitely keep your children in my prayers, I pray that it never happens to them or you. :)
Ronnie: How sad that you have endured so much pain , I have never heard of it myself maybe what you can do is become an advocate in your state. That is a tragedy and my prayers are and will be with you and your family. P.S. I am certain you are not alone out there, its just that nobody has ever told anyone about it.
Im so sorry about your loss.
Emiko: Thank you if I can save someone or even if someone share's there story and save a life then it will be a better place to be. :)
I'm so sorry for your loss. On June 16, 2004 while on a family vacation in Havasu a drunk driver killed my 10yr old son, seriously injured my 18yr old son & killed their father. That day is forever ingrained in my memory & has changed everything in our lives. My counselor asked me one day if I missed the old Sheila & pointed out to me that not one thing was the same in my life. I want my family & my old life back!! If I didn't have God to carry me & give me strength I'd be flat on my face even 6yrs later.
I just found an article in the San Gabriel Valley Examiner from 2006 that uses our story for an example about sentencing not being adequate & MADD always fighting for tougher laws. I'm always shocked when people tell their drinking & driving stories in front of me knowing my story. I agree with you in the fact if we can reach one person we could potentially save a life & help someone else from feeling this devastation. Thank you for sharing & letting us have a place to share.
God's Girl: I am also sorry o hear about your loss. To have a child snatched away because someone was careless enough to have that extra drink, is heartbreaking. Your husband too and almstlosin your other child is sad. N matter how muh stricter the laws become, people do not pay attenton. There are day when all of su miss him so much and days where it is a reflection. Holidays are the hardest because we have a missing link. We miss his laugh, smile, phone calls and conversations. I will never forget the day, ever.
You are a good advocate hangin there. I am glad people can share on here, it is a part of the healing process.
Thank you for sharing this and I am so sorry about the loss of your dad. How devastating.
It's wonderful that you have shared your story in a hub and are reaching out to others through your own experience.
God Bless.
AE im sorry about your loss and thank you for sharing this story. In the last few years my dad has had a problem with drinking and driving. He has been in many accidents and lucky never hurt himself or anyone else. The police have never been involved in these accidents and though my family pleads with him to stop it never helps. Recently i wrote my dad a letter telling him i will do all i can to open his eyes to the danger he is putting himself and other innocent people in. If he was to kill himself or someone else i dont want to live with that guilt knowing i didnt do all i can to stop him. I would like to share your story with him. I have spent the last few days searching for stories just like yours and printing them for him to read in hopes that it will open his eyes. If this does not work my next step will be to call the police and report him the very next time i know he is driving drunk. As a crane operator this will mean him losing his job if he can no longer drive and also the possibility of him never speaking to me again. As i have told him and my mom that is a chance I am willing to take to possibly safe someones life. I think in time my dad will understand me and forgive for doing what i feel needs to be done. Again i truely want to thank you for sharing this story because i feel like to many drunk drivers do not think about the possibilities until it is too late and they have taken a life. I hope many can read this and learn from your story. I am a believer that if people open their eyes they dont have to learn from their own mistakes but can learn from others.
This is truly a tragic event and I cannot begin to portray my compassion. However, even in light of that I must implore, what is the significance of referring to this man's country of origin? Could he just as easily been from the States? And in light of that why not just refer to him as the the "violator" or "careless-driver"?
AE Thank you for sharing this iheart wrenching story. I am so grateful for the Grace of God that I did not hurt anyone when I drank. OMG i can not imagine. My husband is in Jail today as I write until Nov 5 for dui number 2. It is SELFISH to think you are ok to drive. He is so grateful no one was maimed or killed or hurt. It is an awful illness, that takes out families. I have to believe he is delivered and will not pick up again. God is the only way to truth and life. My LOVE
It took much courage for you to share your story. I wrote 3 stories on Davids first drink after 13 years of sobriety. The first drink lasted 4 years. 'Never Give Up' part one and two and 'Gods Glory Shining'. Love you sister. May GOD make his face to shine on you and yours. One day you will see your mama and dad again. Glory to GOD for his promise. Hugs Galore!!!
My first car was my dream car, and unfortunately with such a rare sports car comes lots of problems. I finally got it tip-top shape and for the last two years have driven it without any problems, accident, nothing. Until one day. My baby, my dedication was almost lost to my hands.
I had a few beers at home, and decided that I would go out to my fav local pub for a pint before heading home, usually I can handle my alcohol very, very well and know my limits, but alcohol tends to have this effect on you that makes you sleepy, drowsey, etc.
Driving on my way home, I fell asleep at the wheel and hit the gaurd rail, it tottaly woke me up. I was impaired, clearly, if that was another car, or if a cop saw me I would be DONE. So please, PLEASE Don't drink and drive! I now limit myself to one beer for every hour I am out and driving, if I am tempted for another, I just think back to what could have happend, and the 2300 dollars in repairs I am still working on...
I'm sorry. I hope your father recieved justice. I hope the driver atleast feels guilty for what he had done... i understand that your family had suffered a lot because of his foolish mistake.
I can relate except it was my husband that was the driver and also drinking. He was driving to fast and overcorrected and was thrown from the car. As the result he was thrown from the car and was killed and one of his passangers was also killed. I have always been against drinking and driving, I always told my husband no matter what time it is call me if you need a DD. He was only 22 and I was 20. I never thought in my life that by the time I was 20 that I would be a widow.
hello i am so sorry for your loss. I am a teen who has grown up with an alchoholic mother and i am against drinking and driving and drugs. I live in australia and am at the moment trying to start a group teens against drugs and drunk driving. This story would create awareness to many thank you.
Hi there,
I am truely sorry about your loss and the storey is more than heartfelt.
I don't think drink driving is the main worry in this era, MOBILE phone driving and TEXT driving is the next curse of the century.
Good Luck and I too am a strong believer of NO NO driving if you drink, even a glass.
Drunk Driving is such a serious issue that a myriad amount of people are affected by. Unfortunately nobody realize the affect drunk driving has on the family left behind. This summer 2011 a new documentary is coming out called One Fatal Mistake. One Fatal Mistake shadow's six kids through the lost of their grandma from a drunk driver. Check out the website to watch the trailer and preview and become a fan on facebook to share with family and friends to help prevent drunk driving.
www.onefatalmistakemovie.com
i am only a student 13 years old. I wandered oon this page while looking for ideas for a school projecct and i would love to use it and pass the story on to my classmates so the future drivers will hopefully not drink and drive.
p.s. AEevans i am very sorry for your loss
Btw i am only a child and even i understand that that man should not have goten off that easy
am sorry for your loss. I guess Dads die for lots of reasons and it is never easy. Your Dad did get to live a pretty long life. Perhaps the blessing is he didn't have to get into all those difficult aging problems like alzheimers and general debilitat.ionoutside of a persons home. In my opinion, bars should be illegal. But i then people couldn't have a few drinks at their friends house either, without having to drive home. It's a difficult situation, that's for sure. Again, I'm sorry to hear about your situation.I can relate except it was my husband that was the driver and also drinking. He was driving to fast and overcorrected and was thrown from the car. As the result he was thrown from the car and was killed and one of his passangers was also killed. I have always been against drinking and driving, I always told my husband no matter what time it is call me if you need a DD. He was only 22 and I was 20. I never thought in my life that by the time I was 20 that I would be a widow.
rontavious tarver 6 weeks ago
Thanks for sharing:)
that is realy depressing and its just like the story tears of a tiger,a boy named rob in that book died in a car accident due to drinking and driving.
i am a 13 year old chiled i was looking for a web page for a school papper and i found this one and i read most of these storys and i wanted to say that im praying for all of the people that have lost fathers,mothers,brothers,sisters,and evan grandparents and GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR LOST ONES THANK YOU
My sister Kim Armstrong was hit by a driver under the influence of drugs and alcohol on November 14th, 2010. As she was slowing down to prepare to stop at a stop sign, the driver of the vehicle came over a hill traveling 100 mph and slammed into the back of her vehicle. Kim’s spinal cord was severed as a result of the accident and is severely damaged. The doctors told us, she is paralyzed from the chest down and will never be able to walk again due to where her injuries occurred. Kim is a single mother to 3 sons. Jeremy (24), Jamie (19) and has full custody of her youngest son Hunter (10).
The driver was driving on a suspended DUI license and was on probation in Tennessee at the time of the accident. We’ve learned that he has been in 7 accidents within the last year and totaled out 6 vehicles. He has 2 DUIs and caught in Wal-Mart with a loaded hand gun while intoxicated! He also has been charged several times with aggravated assault! How can this guy still be out walking around is just unbelievable to me! He was never arrested and was cited with 2 tickets, one for driving on a suspended DUI license and for no car insurance.
From what we’ve learned, the reason they didn’t arrest him after he got out of the MED was that if the hospital turned him over to the police, then the police would be responsible for paying his hospital bill.
Please read the rest of this story on her blog at http://www.kimsrecovery.com/2011/01/we-want-justic
It just doesn't seem fair for victims and their families to have to go through this process. When we showed the private investigation report to the police department they couldn't believe this guy was not in jail either. What amazes me was we got all this information in 2 days and the police department is still trying to get criminal charges on this guy. And he is still out driving the roads popping pills and drinking. It will only be a matter of time before he kills someone or injure them like they did my sister. It’s sad – criminals have more rights than the victims!
Darren
Such an important lesson to teach out children. How dangerous a car can be.
Important message. We hear it all the time, but no one ever believes it will be them. Thank you.
thank you this is an upsetting story and im using it for a presentation in school.
candace: I am honored that you are using it for a presentation in school. If you can get the point across to at least one person you will make a difference. We who have lost someone we loved thank you for taking the time to read and are happy that you are sharing this with others. :)
omg that is sad all of u now i want to cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
really i just saw one that said that a woman ran over her husband after he tried to take over driving
i cant say that ive lost someone to drunk drivers, but my bestfriend lost her mom due to a driver intoxicated. And about 3 years ago her dad died of alcohol poisoning. im so sorry for the losses people have suffered. and im also sorry for how irresponsible people are for getting behind the wheel drunl.
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sorry for the lost !!
To be honest as I can be, I used to be a drunk driver. Never inteded to, but when in a blackout I lost all thought and control. On April 8th 2010 I drank one bottle of wine, went to bed, woke up in the hospital. After going to bed I went out and bought 5 more bottles drank them and on my way to work at 7:40 A.M I rolled my car 7 and a half times almost killing me. Needless to say that was it for me. I never want to feel that feeling of a fear of not knowing what had happened. I know my limits now, it is zero.
I have had problems with this in the past. When you are drunk, you are not in your right mind. When you are tipsy, you are impaired. When you have only had a drink or two, you are over-confident..
nice story
I have to say this is a great site very inspirational and helpful to many alcoholics like myself trying to.learn and heal after making mistakes under the influence . Thank you!!!
people should reallly stop drinking
Tryingtoheal: They should stop, but it takes one day at a time. Alcohol is an addiction just like cigarettes, drugs etc. If I can save one life from this article or open another person's eyes, I have accomplished something. Many of us forgive those who have caused pain, I am one of them. I am so happy that you have chosen to stop drinking. Please continue to share your story, I believe it can help others too. Become a speaker, share it with others and I also thank you for reading my story. :)
WDCurry111: I completely agree with you. :)
I am going to piss some people off here I know (without intending to) but when I hear a story about a drunk driver killing someone, I feel just as bad for the drunk driver as I do the victim. Before you get offended, please listen to why....
#1 It is NOT against the law to drink and drive (it is against the law to drink TOO much and drive).
#2 Alcohol is a socially acceptable drug, even encouraged to be used in settings like college, tailgateing etc.
#3 Alcohol is readily available EVERYWHERE. It is perfectly legal to drive to a bar @ 1AM. WHY is that legal? WHO is drinking responsibly @ 1AM?
#4 Alcohol is a very addictive and dangerous substance to anyone who has the alcoholic gene.. and it could be anyone.
So with those things listed, I say that society and the law makers have set us up to fail. They are asking that we be responsible with a substance that inherently makes people IRRESPONSIBLE - ESPECIALLY the alcoholic.
Tell an alcoholic he can have 2 beers and drive, but not 3? Really?
So my solution is this: it should be ILLEGAL to drive to a bar - PERIOD. It should be ILLEGAL to drive with ANY alcohol in your system- PERIOD. This would only help matters. Stop asking people, and expecting people to be responsible with a substance that often immediately makes you IRRESPONSIBLE. That is all... sorry this was so long.
JG: I do not believe anyone will be upset with you at all. In fact I believe your idea, is a grand one! It should be ILLEGAL to drive to a bar. It should be ILLEGAL to drive with any alcohol in your system. I agree and yes alcohol is addictive. You do have so many valid points. I am glad you could express yourself and share your thoughts, that is what is all about. Thank you for your comment. :)
Thank you for that. It is just... I read and hear people calling people that drink and drive "irresponsible" and "idiots". That isn't fair. Some people simply MUST have a wake-up call to the danger of the action before they even consider the volatility of it - because, like I said, it is very much a socially acceptable norm, and it is LEGAL. That doesn't make these persons idiots or irresponsible.
JG:I agree with you. They should not be called idiots or irresponsible. I appreciate your response. :)
Last thing AEvans... know that will all I said -I am so sorry for what happened to you. IF I were in your position it would be hard to forgive, so know I admire you, and the fact you are trying to turn something positive out of something tragic.
JG: A person should always forgive. People make mistakes and everyone is human. We can't turn back the clock, but what we can do is learn from it. If you were in my position after the storm was over, I think you would also be forgiving. :)
To err is human; to forgive divine...
Not all people who drink and drive are stupid or irresponsible, they just make a stupid mistake under the influence of a socially acceptable, highly available, relatively cheap and very dangerous drug, that lowers higher levels of conscious thought, judement making and risk assesment capabilities.. and in many cases negates the brain's ability to imprint short term memories into long term ones (this lowers an individual's capability of self awareness) It is the Government that takes ultimate responsibility for the contradictions it presents about what is right and wrong in society and where to draw the line with alcoholic consumption and availability... We must also remember the destruction it causes outside the realm of driving...
My prayers are with you.... you are divine for your ability to forgive, to teach and to understand where we can change
I am sad when I read it because of the recklessness of some individuals who forget there are lives that we should care for...I hope your writings will serve as an eye opener to those people who always finding ways to waste their lives not living as what GOD gives it to them.They don't care about it....LIFE.Its of us have missions and purpose why we live on this earth...
Thank you very much for sharing your story and I am very sorry that your dad lost his lift to such a awesome but preventable tragedy. Drunk driving is such a huge problem in today's society and if only we would stop driving while drunk and actually take responsibility for ourselves, people, like your dad would still be here with their families who love them. http://drunkdrivinglaws.info
Watcher: Yes they are mistakes and yes I have learned how to forgive. Sharing this gives me the ability to reach out to others and hopefully it will make them think twice before getting behind the wheel.
Carmen B.Regis: I hope it serves as an eye opener too. Thank you for reading.
kpcwriting: I realize how drinking can be sociable; but getting behind the wheel is always a grave mistake. Maybe a law should be passed on how many drinks a bar can server per person. Everyone has a limit and they should drink at home and not drive. Take the keys from those who are in there presence and let them sleep on a couch. They will be thankful they did. :)
i hope he rests in peace and that this will be a example to others
I understand how u feel when u lost loved ones, especially your dad.
Thanks for sharing your deeply story.
boy235: He is resting and I believe this article is really doing something. :)
amrita: Thank you for taking the time to read. :)
Hi AEvans, I will start by saying I am extremely sorry for your loss. It hurts to know that such a beautiful life was taken away. Nevertheless, I value the dedication you put into reaching out to people about drunk driving. It is a consistent problem. When I read your hub it made me feel hopeful that so many people are trying to reach out. Thank you for writing such a sentimental hub.
I appreciate this websit and the stories that have been shared it is inspiring to know that people are out there trying to show people that drinking and driving is wrong
Kody: Drinking and driving is wrong and nobody should ever get in a car with anyone who has been drinking either.
haha it was really good
Smokey: Thank you. Losing a parent or child to a drunk driver is never a laughing matter. When we lose someone we can never bring them back.
Sorry AE for the loss of your loved one. I have been moved by your story.
I am doing some bible quiet time materials and while i was developing one on wise living, i came across your story and Paula's and i felt i needed to use this story as an illustration to wise living....
it is true that what you are doing is making an impact and touching lives...
have a nice day and God bless.
Mrs. Evans i like the way you think and try to keep everyone out of harms way. Everyone that comes to this site needs to listen to and follow what Mrs. Evans says.
This story made me cry i am a very emotional little boy when it comes to things like this
Wekesa PM: Thank you so much. Paula's story is also inspirational, I also wrote about her. :) God Bless to you too. :)
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GreatGoji 3 years ago
Ouch, that really is depressing especially for a fact that you had to lose someone special due to circumstances that has been caused by someone else's irresponsibility. It is why I always advice my close friend not to drive if he is drunk or not to drink if he is going to drive someone home.