If I Could Turn Back The Hands Of Time What Would Have Changed
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Sitting outside with mom who has been battling Cancer since October 2009 , looking out at the trees, listening to the birds and quiet reflecting what was happening at the moment. I thought quietly to myself, " If I could turn back the hands of time", things would have been different. Our father would still be here, my Uncle would not be battling for his life either, people in the past some of them would not have even existed. There are people that are missed and others I would rather not see ever again, life was different. Looking at mom's eyes I know that God is getting her through each passing day and she has finally accepted that when he does call her home, she is fine with it. There are things that we still have to do and other things that is a little speckle of dust that we can overlook right now. I have learned to forgive those who have harmed me or caused pain, out of anger people do hurtful things. But if I could turn back the hands of time, the decisions that I made would have been different. I would embrace those who were truly our friends, find more time for those that we loved, laugh more, love more and not worry about the little things that appear so large when in reality they are nothing but a tiny speck of dust that really isn't as important as life itself.
Many times we ask ourselves what we could have done differently , maybe we should have held the door open for the elderly woman at the grocery store. Is there really any reason to yell at someone when they cut you off on the highway/freeway? Certainly it was a mere oversight or they didn't pay attention. Are all of us so perfect that we have forgotten our manners? Sometimes we wish that we could have said, " I love you", one last time. Why do we regret things after they happen? Out of anger humans in general do things they should not and then realize they have harmed the person unintentionally. We love , we laugh, we cry but if we could turn back the hands of time what would we do differently? With mom talking I became oblivious to what she was discussing, her speech a little impaired from the Gamma Knife she went through, her hands trembled as she sipped her glass of water. The mother I knew was happy, full of laughter and edgy. Now her words trembled, Was I wrong for taking her back home one last time to Iowa in 2008? The same time we were trying to save a house, sale the house, and pray that we would have great jobs and remain in Iowa? We enjoyed Iowa and we also ran into hateful people along the way. But sometimes people do things out of anger, stress or feeling overwhelmed so forgiveness is always given. Would anyone have done things in the past differently? If only we had more time with the person we loved, if only we could laugh more with the ones that are now gone. We could never turn back the hands of time, but we can learn to love, laugh and appreciate those who are near and dear to us even more. We can stop worrying about the person on the highway/freeway who cut us off, it is only a speck of dust. We do not know why they cut us off maybe there was a family emergency? Don't we have families to? We could forgive the person who has harmed us or was hateful to us, life is to short isn't it? We can correct our wrongdoings with doing right to others, and we can treasure life isn't that what is important? Being wrongfully accused of crimes that are not committed are also a sin, so forgive those who have harmed you. Act out of love and not anger, listen and learn from each other so we do not have any regrets because yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not promised. Live each day like it is your last, embrace those that you love and forgive those who have hurt you. Do not let your heart turn into stone and always take responsibility for your actions,the next time someone upsets you just let it go, without any regrets and forgive them, those moments are just a little speck of dust compared to what life really is.
Open the doors before tomorrow is gone.
©2010
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"Forgive those who have harmed you. Act out of love and not anger, listen and learn from each other". This message is very important. It's too easy to get angry or find someone to blame. It's a lot harder to accept responsibility, but I can testify that life is so much greater if you're a keeper of peace. God bless.
Beth100: Forgiveness is about ourselves , thank you so much for commenting and thank you for the blessings. :)
marcofratelli: I agree with you that life is much greater if you are a keeper of peace and a person is not ever really stressed out because of it. Great to see you too! :)
Aevans, Lovely heartfelt inspiring hub! "Act out of love and not anger, listen and learn from each other so we do not have any regrets because yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not promised" Amen!
Cherish everday you spend with your Mom on this side of heaven. Whenever the Lord calls her home you will miss her but you will have peace in your heart knowing you shared many more treasured memories.
Blessed are the Peacemakers! Thank you for sharing, In HIS Love, Peace & Blessings!
Aevans, simply amazing and beautiful. I am so much touched and I have nothing more to say. Iam bookmarking this hub. Thumbs up
Aevans: Thanks for reminding us all to take the time to be loving, to forgive, to let go. I find that sometimes, the errors we make in life teaches us so much. I pray your Mom will be at peace here and beyond.
Touching and inspiring hub!
A well written and wonderful hub. It is so full of thoughts which really matter and thought provoking. I thoroughly enjoyed your hub.
I do not know how almost every hubber i know these days writes what i would like to practice in life. :) Thanks to you too amongst others AEvans and indeed, "Let us treasure our present, we do not know what we face the next moment!"
You have put it so completely into perspective, unforgiveness and bitterness never hurts the other person, but stop spiritual growth in ourselves. The heart is a precious thing to guard for it is the thing God looks upon to judge the real us! Great, reflective hub!
A beautiful hub expressing the wisdom of maturity. Thank you for sharing. It is indeed uplifting, honest and truthful.
Forever His,
AEvans, my sis!
There is great woman hidden in your heart.
You helped me to forgive the person who hurt me most since I never spelled it loud and clear. I forgive you...
Thanks for this Hub.
If we could turn back time, I'm sure there are allot of things we would do different...I know I would! I heard on the radio some time ago, that there was an organization recording the stories of our eldest veterans. I thought how I wish I would of done this with my grandparents, to show our children what great people they were:) Enjoy your time with your mom, even though it is hard to see her different. She is so blessed to have you in her last days, and not be stuck in a nursing home. I have loved ones who died in nursing homes, I am so grieved, that I wasn't older...even wiser, to be able to step up and get them out of there. It makes me sad to think how they spent their last days and hours in such a cold heartless place.
DeBorrah K.Ogans: Thank you and we are treasuring every moment even if she gets upset or angry, we remain silent knowing it is the Cancer. She is fighting and we have been praying that God gives her another year. :)
jayb23: I am happy that your heart was touched by my words written from the heart. Last night it was over flowing with emotion and thought, I am glad that many are inspired by it.:)
VioletSun: We are human but yes , we should not fret over the small things, it is life that is so much more important. Thank you for the prayers. :)
Hello, hello: Those words came quickly so quickly that the keys on the keyboard were clicking away. I am happy that the words provoked thoughts and reminders in you. :)
words cocktail: We do need to treasure the moment, sometimes it is hard but if we look back with regrets and what ifs then it makes our lives incomplete. :)
djbraman: God will look upon us when it comes to our actions, it is what we do while we are here that he should see in a postive way. Thank you for the comment and enjoying the hub.:)
RevLady: Thank you and I am happy that it was uplifting, truthful and sincerely honest. :)
Vladimir: I am somewhere in there, finding me again is such a great feeling. Sometimes seeing the one you love struggle rips your heart apart, but it is all of the little things that matter while they are still here that make everything so much better. When I look at mom's hands I see me, hers are older but she carried me under her heart and there I will forever stay. She is a fighter indeed and I see her strength everyday, through her I know that I can carry on. I don't know how I hurt you but forgive me if I did, you are a great brother in Christ and a true friend. :)
heart4theword: Don't grieve there wasn't anything you could do, but embrace the rest that are up and coming that is the gift that has been bestowed upon you. My own sisters who are younger wanted to place her in a home and I refused, they wanted to know how long she had etc. Only God knows the time, the day, the hour doctors cannot always predict that. Sometimes it is hard to be her caregiver as she relies 100% on us, but she is mom and I would not do things any differently. You can show your children what kind of parents your grandparents were by the memories, pics and actions that you do. You can do it! :)
I believe there is a period in everyone's life when they wish they could turn back time. I hope you find peace.
KoffeKlatchGals: I found peace when I let it go and share my thoughts with others, it came when I wrote the hub reminding others how important life is, I believe there is a point to and for others they never look back and keep moving ahead. :)
Your hub brought tears to these eyes, AEvans. I know from personal experience that the days ahead will be hard; my mama also had this path to follow. But we shared many lovely moments and I cherish every one.
Keep reflecting-it's crucial to a healthy soul.
You will never know how much I needed this hub. Thank you for sharing it with us.
lorlie6: Thank you as you know sometimes we have to reflect and we have to share meanings in our lives to over come the heartache and sorrow of today. Thanks for your support and I know you truly understand. :)
samboiam: I am happy to oblige and I am happy to share my thoughts and feelings with others. :)
After reading this piece, I am now at peace with the fact that my paternal grandmother is no longer here and is in a better place. I will be forever grateful that she wa a part of my life for 25+ years and I will try my best to make my grandma proud. Thank you. Well done. Thumbs up
There are many times I've struggled with "what could be done differently" but it usually happens during times of being completely overwhelmed. I like your writings because there's always a reflection of hope despite great obstacles - and that's a sign of genuine faith.
This is a wonderful hub. I find that regret is one of the hardest things to live with. But sometimes you just have to let yourself off the hook and let it go. Thanks for this wonderful reminder to "live each day like it is your last."
fishinfreak2008: It is good to see you! I know you will make your grandmother proud and I am glad that you know that your paternal grandmother is truly at Peace. :)
Don Simkovich: I sincerely try to keep my faith through whatever obstacles tend to get in my way. Many times hope is all we have and patience is always golden. I am glad that you enjoy my hubs and there words of encouragement, it is great to see you too! :)
Cari Jean: We do have to live each day like it is our last, because tomorrow is never promised. Regret is hard to live with and all of us go through it, the only thing we can do is get past the what ifs and try to always see the positives in everything. :) I am glad that you enjoyed it. :)
AEvans, What a beautiful, touching hub. I think most of us feel that way at least for some things in life and the only thing we have is today, just this day to make things right or to live life to the fullest. I have often thought if I could just go back and have a couple of days when I was young, healthy and so energetic to have some fun, laugh, and be care free but life doesn't work that way. Thank you for your comment of live each day like it is your last.
Pamela99: I know many of us do and sometimes I wish we could turn back the hands of time, life seemed so much better then but the only thing we can do is move forward through time and make the best of each day. I wish you could go back to wouldn't it be nice if we could change things? :)
AE....this is certainly some of the best stuff that I have seen from you. You wrote this with your heart with common sense and good judgment stirred in from the old noodle. I could tell by the it flowed how strongly that you felt it and how important it was to you that it be said. I have always heard that we should never condemn a man until we have walked in his shoes...maybe there's a lot of truth to that. I loved your reference to the "speck of dust" in the overall relevance of things. My mother was a worry type...she worried about the people who worried too much about other people who worried. For all that we encounter in life and in our work, it really helps when we come face to face with those things to first just stop and take a deep breath. In that instance, I often feel an element of clarity that allows me to find my way and a much different way than if I had just reacted on my emotion. Sometimes, doing nothing at all serves everyone's best purpose but we have to take that breath in order for that opportunity to enter the equation. When we look back, we can always see the important stuff behind us and what we should have done with it but we don't seem to apply what we have seen to what we will see very well. Thanks for stimulating my thought processes on this subject. Thumbs Way Up! WB
Wayne Brown: Yes, I looked deep into my soul and everytime I come back to this hub reflecting on 'If I Could Turn Back The Hands Of Tme' it is so fresh and instilled in my heart. To often we worry about the little things that are really irrelevant to life itself, if we as people would be more compassionate, not do things out of anger that we may regret later on then life may be just a simpler. People sometimes do things just to get revenge and what does that prove? To me it proves that people do not always think things through before they jump to conclusions, they don't walk in their shoes and have compassion for life. When they tables are turned they can't believe it has happened to them, but if we would just embrace, listen and let go life would be so much more peaceful. Thank you so much for looking into my words and truly see like everyone has what was written. :)
very good hub as I often think about the "what if's" but nowadays I am doing more to minimize the "if I could turn it back".
Funny how you mention the crazies on the highway as I just did a cross-country trip & still stopped over for some farm grown walnuts, oranges and thoroughly enjoyed the views and greenery the eastern USA has.
AE. A very thoughtful hub. I enjoyed this. I try to do better every single day. I try to always do the best that I can. That is all that I can do. This helps me not think of the "what if's." You have a really nice writing style. I feel you in your words. COCO
I am so glad you wrote this as a reminder to all of us about what is really important and what matters most in the end. If you could only learn before is too late.
Isn’t that ironic that so often we wish to turn back the hands of time and do things over, but we keep on repeating almost the same mistakes while hoping for different outcomes?
Wow this was very deep and something that will make your mind go deep in thought!! AEvans I could certainly feel your heart expressed in your words!!
AE you are wonderful to share such a personal insight. It is so true to be kind to each other and remember that angry words only hurt and damage relationships. Beautiful hub.
My aunt was died two years ago by breast cancer. I really love her very much. I wish I could turn back the hands of time. But God have control everything. I just pray and pray. I hope the best for you and for your lovely mom. Never give up, my friend. Thank you very much.
Prasetio
ocbill: There are crazies on the freeway but it is great to know that you stopped by and purchased walnuts, and oranges on the side of the road. You took time to enjoy life and that is what is so important.:)
Coco: That is such a positive way to look at things, could you imagine if everyone did it what a wonderful place this would be? :)
Petra: Your words ring true there are many who reflect back and the outcome can still be the same in the present. If we live each day as our last and appreciate all that it is around us we wouldn't have any regrets. :)
SundayMoments: My words have always been from my heart and sincere, if everyone's actions would reflect in what they do our world would be a better place. :)
MPG Narratives: You are quite thoughtful and yes all of us should try to be kind , once the storm passes there is usually guilty and ill-remorse. From your words you to have a big heart. :)
prasetio30: My prayers are with you and I know the hurt and from your words I know you still miss her, what you could do is write a tribute to her if you have not already did that, it is a part of expressing what they meant to you and it also helps you to heal. Thank you so much for your thoughts and as always I will occassionally let everyone know how she is doing. I will also keep you in our prayers. :)
AEvans, seems you are in an overwhelming spot at the moment. Reflections are often a good way of helping us get through them, even if they do bring tears to our eyes as we remember something we maybe should have done differently. But after you take that time for reflections, you face today with determination, and it helps just a bit. Be your best today, then smile and look forward to as many tomorrows as you have with your mom
Duchess O'Blunt: Being overhelmed you clearly defined, I don't have any regrets about taking her home, the regret I have is about the people we encountered when we were there. Not all were rude but there was one who did not have any compassion nor asked why we went back home. I am glad that we had the opprtunity to take care so that she could be around family, I have forgiven the soul who wreaked havoc upon our souls and I have often wondered what they would have felt should the roll have been reversed? Did they not have compassion for their family members? Did they not love their parents so much it hurt? These questions may never be answered but may God have mercy upon their souls. As for mom we are taking one day at a time, she has her good moments and bad moments I tend to overlook the bad moments because we know it is the Cancer that is causing the problems. We have seen her go from energetic to sleeping all of the time. We have seen her walk for miles and now she has a hard time going up the stairs, I would love to see my other mother back not one who is suffering and hopefully the man upstairs will give her ample time to enjoy life and have fun a little longer. Thank you so much for yuor comment I will hold it close to my heart.:)
Beautifully written. There is little room for regret, and so much room for forgiveness. And with that, we can live graciously in this moment.
Midtown Girl: I completely agree that we can live graciously in this moment once we forgive. :)
My dear AEvans, Reading the words you have penned, I find it inspiring and filled with hope and promise. With all I know you have been through and the stressful ordeal we both shared with The Crosland Books and Crosland Publishing. It is great to see you still writing and placing effort on where you need to go. I hope you enjoyed my Dr. Suess'ed style poem "Dudley D Quince and The Book Making Gin" that related to the horrible things that were inflicted on you, your family as well and the rest of us that were involved. We all must learn, recover grow and excel beyond those individuals that; because of their in-ability, must try to tear down others with such tremendous potential and ability as you. Take care and God Bless.
this hub was very touching. I enjoyed it. We all have gone throught stessful times in our lifes. And yet we get through them. I know its hard some times having some situations with my mother. I say a little prayer on go on.
must65gt: I truly enjoyed the story "Dudley D Quince and The Book Making Gin" . Have you ever considered writing childrens books? Stress can hit us hard if we allow it but it is the little things that matter most. Happy Fourth of July. :)
rose56: That is great advice when it comes to dealing with stressful situations. Prayer sometimes is the best medicine. :)
AEvans,
When you see through the eyes of a loved one it changes your perspective. I cried even though it has been over two years since my father passed away. I commend you for finding the good that you do. You are a good person so good will come to you.
Ben Evans: I am saddened to hear about your father's passing, it is hard when we lose a parent. It is also o.k. to cry, what is important now is the time you spend with the others. You to are a very good person and compassionate with your words that you write.:)
AEvans - My heart goes out to you and your Mom with all that you're both going through right now. Like your Mom, my Dad accepted the inevitable outcome that he faced with a cancer diagnosis, telling me that his faith was strong and he was ready. But I was not ready.
You're right, when we begin to reflect on our actions we see where we might have done better and hope for forgiveness from those we've wronged. Just as we try to forgive the wrongs received from others. That is more than just a good philosophy. It's part of our test here, part of what we need to learn and practice everyday.
Your reflections inspired me today. Thank you.
PegCole17: We embrace your words and it is hard when they accept and we do not. Reflection is a good thing and they say forgiveness is golden, it is a test and sometimes it is an endless one. I am hapy I was an inspiration to you. :)
Before a clicked the button to follow you, I was wondering what will make you have over 1000 followers. Of course, I have read hubs by hubbers who are also 2 years in this wonderful community, but after reading this piece, all doubts were smashed and cleared in my mind. Really a great hub. There are things I would have done that I didn't do and there are the ones which I suppose not to do which I did, but all such thoughts sum up to one sentence 'If I could turn back the hands of time"
Really imspiring..
Dchosen_01: I was inspired to write this because of the elements outside, my mom and that song of R. Kelly's. There are so many things all of us could have done differently, the only thing we can do is learn from our ways and appreciate the time we have here on earth. We need more patience and understanding for others because life is so short. I sincerely appreciate your comment and you to make people strive even harder to achieve all that they need to do, just by commenting your own reflection. :)
I enjoyed your hub and it made me think of those people in my life that have given me lots of space to be human. I also in turn like to give people much space and not focus on the negative things that sometimes come about in relationships. A lot of times relationships feel narrow with no room to move and if you don't do it just right it's over. I truly cherish the relationships that look past my faults and failures and just enjoy the relationship.
Tamarajo: Me too! I thank you so much for appreciating the words.
Bless you, Sweet Lady. Your profoundly touching prose and sentiment are still rippling emotions through me.
There is nothing like pain and suffering to cause huge leaps in personal growth, ehh?
Thanks for sharing this deeply personal journey.
Much love and compassion.
~Jan Deelstra
PS ~The video was a nice bonus. ;~)
Thank you, again.
JD
Deelstra: Going through each hub, I came across this comment. I apologizing for not replying because I did not realize it was here. :( I am glad you enjoyed the hub and it has been such a long journey.
You are a great writer! I loved reading this and hope you see greater and greater success. You're gift is obvious! Thanks and I am following you as of now in your hubs.
Author Steven Clark Bradley
Steven C. Bradley: Thank you so much and going through my hubs, I did not see your comment until now. Thank you for your words of appreciation. :)
What a question and response AE. This is well thought out and beautiful. I’m glad we’ve reconnected. Vote up and beautiful. ~ eddie
Eddie-Perkins: I am glad we reconnected too! I am so happy to see you back on HubPages! Thank you so much for taking the time to read it. I appreciate your comments. :)
Great story. You have prompted me to write a not to dissimilar one about my mom & relatives...
barryrutherford: You should write a hub about your mom and relatives, I am looking forward to reading it.:)
barryrutherford: I am going there now to check out the hub.:)Thank you.:)
Forgiveness helps the heart heal. Thanks for sharing your beatiful insights and tender moments.
cabmgmnt: Thank you for taking the time to read my reflections.
This is a lovely heartwarming hub :)
Thank you AE.
Ed: You are welcome and I am glad you enjoyed "If I Could Turn Back The Hands of Time."
Beth100 Level 5 Commenter 23 months ago
AE -- As always, your pieces move me to reflect upon myself. For me, I turn the hands of time back during every moment of my day. How? With each lesson I learn, I strive to change and do it differently the next time it happens. Forgiveness is not about the other person, it is about ourselves. It's about being humble and acknowledging that one is not perfect. Thank you for causing a pause in our lives to think about how we can change. Blessings for your mom and you. Peace and light. {{HUGS}}